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| 2003-12-23/10:16 p.m. So it's been a while since last I updated. Since then I've taken my finals and come home and seen almost all of my friends. Alot has happened. I mean I just don't know how to say it all. I've realized a little more of who I am. I've realized the type of things that I need in order to survive here at home. I've had some absolutely awesome conversations, I've gone back to high school and saw old friends. I haven't seen my new friends yet, but I think that's just one of the things that is yet to come. I had a great time just being here. Like I don't really know how to explain these things. Like I was talking to Lex and I realized that I'm kind of the opposite of her in that when I'm at school I've got like no complications at all. But when I come home it's like giant shitpile, but I love coming home to see all my friends. The funny thing is that I remember my mom talking the weekend that I moved to Dayton that I wouldn't be coming home. And you know what I think she's right. I keep telling everyone that I'm not coming back after sophomore year. I know that I really want to start doing my research then, so I hope it works out. But I also realize that if I could I probably would not be coming back after this year. I love everyone here, but college is just such a good place for me. I finally feel like I can do anything. Which is really funny because I'm relaly probably more reserved at school than I am here, but there's something about being there that gives me this feeling of invincibility. It's one of those feelings that are just really hard to describe because it seems like it feels different for each person. Maybe I'll make sense one day. In other news: Dad's doing well. He's home and not too uncomfortable, but that will change in about 2 weeks when the stuff starts to take effect. So thankfully I won't have to watch him being miserable. But maybe that will just make this seem to be not so real for me. It really doesn't matter because I can't change these things. I am just learning to live with it. I also have to learn to live with my family. I can't be the bitch that I'm being. I am just so tired of everyone's shit, which really isn't the best thing to say, I know. But it seems like all the little things that I used to be able to live with I just can't anymore. I need to learn to live with it again b/c it's not like I can really afford not to live here over breaks and stuff like that. I mean I could probably live at Matthew's but I don't really think he wants his 19 year old cousin living in his house because she doesn't get along with her family. It took em so long to get where I am, I really don't want to compromise it because I can't adapt. But if I seem like a bitch, I'd rather you guys call me on it then let me be. I love you all. I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas and I can't wait to see you guys again. I love you all and you are all so important to me that I don't think that I would have made it through this first semester without you. Take care of yourselves, you are the best people in the world. I love you! ~Kates And even though I know how very far apart we are It helps to think we might be wishing On the same bright star And when the night wind starts to sing a lonesome lullaby It helps to think we're sleeping Underneath the same big sky Somewhere Out There Linda Ronstadt
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Now Then Book Profile buddies (er... henchmen?): Scratchs Laura Rach Regz Seka Lex Beth Invader-Tim Josh Jaimie Rings Reviews Dedicate Design Host |
