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| 2003-09-12/10:16 p.m. Today's been an emotional rollercoaster. I woke up actually eager for the day because I only had two classes. I love the fact that I'm done with class on Fridays at noon. So I came home, got some food and started rereading for my stupid paper that the rough draft is due on monday. It would be fine if I understood how any of this is supposed to have an effect on the topic of the paper. So I moved from happy/eager (I got to play with a toy heliocopter in my CORE class) to upset and confused. Then I went to 'Up the Organizations Day' which is like the Mega Fair Alexis talked about. I didn't really find anything that was worth the time. So I came back to my room disappointed and I tried to read again, and ended up falling asleep which made me late to ACS, but when I got there (only like 2 minutes late) Dee and I sat in the front row and I think I freaked two of the officers because I make eye contact w/ presenters, but I came home from that really happy. It was cool, then I went swimming with Dee and Lauren and I got a totally good workout so I feel like I've accomplished something today. But I went to dinner with Dee, Danielle (an awesome girl from down the hall) and Sarah (another girl from down the hall). That was really cool b/c I didn't know Danielle very well before tonight. She and I were thinking about just camping about in our rooms and calling it a night tonight, but some of the girls didn't think that it should be so. So we went to KU and played some pool which was cool. We came back here and they started playing Ping pong and I realized that I really just wasn't happy. I don't want to make them think that it's because of everyone, and I think Dee understands, but I can't even go walk about campus by myself because I'm scared. I hate feeling helpless and I hate this feeling that I can't do something I want to do. I don't quite understand why I'm letting this affect me in this way, so I'm going to try and do some homework and maybe it'll force me to seek solace in other people and then I can go and have fun. We'll see. I love you all and I hope you know how much you all mean to me. ~Kates A stroke of luck or a gift from god? The hate of fate or devil's claws? From below or saints above You came to me Here comes the cold again I feel it closing in It's falling down and All around me falling You say that you'll be there to catch me Or will you only try to trap me These are the rules I make Our chains were meant to break You'll never change me Here comes the cold again I feel it closing in You're falling down and All around me falling Stroke of luck or a gift from god? Hand of fate or devil's claws? From below or saints above You come to me now -A Stroke Of Luck Garbage
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