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| 2003-08-18/10:21 p.m. "Existential thoughts can wait. You're no island these days. Anyway, you have business that needs your attention. It should be enough that everyone is standing on common ground without having to test the soil for it's chemical properties. Like most people, you work with what comes to your hands, navigating by familiar sensations and landmarks. Boundaries just get in the way of understanding how all things are connected. You'll probably hear yourself makine more "we" statements than "me" statements. If there was any lingering question about where you belong, this should answer it once and for all." How true this is for me. This was my horoscope for today. I know most people don't put any stock in horoscopes, and to tell you the truth I really don't either, but sometimes they just seem too accurate, and this one is far more descriptive than most. But like I said it just fit too well for me right now. Especially the part about standing on common ground. We are all doing to same thing now. We're all excited and scared, at least I know I am. You guys are so important to me. I was writing in my other journal about how scared I am about coming home and being a completely different person. If you want to read it go to www.livejournal.com/users/katypeg. It is unlocked so you all should be able to read it if you want. It's basically me bitching about not being ready to go to school. Rachel wrote the most amazing entry today, and I am so proud of her for putting that in writing. I love her so much and I can only imagine what she's going through. And because of her strength she is still one of my heroes. And I really don't have that many of those things. I was thinking about it today and I decided that I'm not going to call home the first week that I'm gone. I think that if I called once then I'd just keep calling and would desperately want to come home. I figure if I call anyone from school it'll be either Liz or Matthew. Lex you don't count b/c I have to call you to talk about Labour Day. So I can't control my calling you, and I don't know if I'll have the same reaction to calling you as to calling everyone else. You know? But that's my thought on what I'm going to let myself do the first week. I probably will write you all letters and then prevent myself from sending them until the end of the week. I don't know. Maybe now of this will come true and I'll end up calling everyone I know and being like... 'help'. this is why Rachel is my hero. Rachel, if I come home the 20th then I'll try and see you on my way back home. ~Kates I don't expect my love affairs to last for long Never fool myself that my dreams will come true Being used to trouble I anticipate it But all the same I hate it--wouldn't you? So what happens now? Where am I going to? Time and time again I've said that I don't care That I'm immune to gloom, that I'm hard through and through But every time it matters all my words desert me So anyone can hurt me--and they do So what happens now? Call in three months time and I'll be fine I know Well maybe not that fine, but I'll survive anyhow I won't recall the names and places of this sad occasion But that's no consolation--here and now So what happens now?
-Another Suitcase In Another Hall
"Evita"
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